Want more review from the JERRY SHOW? You GOT IT! Wal-mart!

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(all reviews are on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best/highest.)

Well, folks, I didn't know I was loved that much on here as far as my product reviews went, and I do regret that I am usually busy with something so I can't do them as much as I'd like, but Ya'll Love Me! Ya'll Really Love Me! So here we go again:

Wal-Mart.

Sure, people may argue that Wal-Mart isn't a product at all, but a supermarket/corporate chain/ect., But Wal-Mart is the product of one man and his desire to become a billionare by taking advantage of how little you can pay some guy in China, shunning unions, and having entirely no regard for employee benefits! His name? Sam Walton.

Sam Walton founded Wal-Mart in 1962, and to be quite frank, never really had to look back. Wal-Mart the largest retail chain in the world, and pretty much outsells all it's competition. This means they sell more toys than Toys R Us. Yeah, it's a big deal. So let me go ahead and score the first sub-category:

Owning the competition: 10

I mean, why pay ten bucks for a bag of dog food when you can get it for three bucks? Walton is pretty much the father of the "LETS GO TO A TOWN AND OPEN A WAL-MART, DROP ALL THE PRICES TO IMPOSSIBLY LOW LEVELS, BANKRUPT ALL THE LOCAL BUSINESSES, AND THEN HIKE THE PRICES!" idea. Brilliant, Sam. You are an inspiration.

However, Wal-Marts have not been successful everywhere. Their efforts in South Korea and Germany flopped like the Kiss Movie, and the stores were sold to other retailers throughout the respectable countries. But with such success in America, who needs South Korea? (Everyone knows they're North Korea's bitch anyway.)

Moving right along, we have to go ahead and consider that the average pay for a Wal-Mart employee is $9.68. And that's FULL TIME. WAY TO PROFIT, WAL-MART! But if you really want something that'll bring a tear to your eye, look at these hourly figures from other countries:

Bangladesh - $0.17

China - $0.17

Indonesia - $0.46

Nicaragua - $0.23

Swaziland - $0.53

While the CEO of Wal-Mart is making a WHOPPING $8,434.49 an hour, he is getting the hard stuff done for mere change! Is that the American dream or what, people? So here's my other sub-category:

PROFITing: 10!!lol!!!omg!wtf?!!lmao!!?!11

Now that we've got the corporate aspects out of the way, let's go ahead and look at the actual stores. They vary in size depending on where you are in America, but check this out: The town that is about 4 miles away from here (Shreveport, LA) is home to the worlds SECOND BIGGEST WAL-MART! So I have a very accurate idea of what they have:

THEY HAVE EVERYTHING.

And you know what else?

IT'S CHEAP!

However, the atmosphere in Wal-Mart is not the best one. The employees that work there look like they would rather be buried neck high next to an anthill with honey smeared on their face. Even the old people that they hire as greeters have a general "Get yer shit and get out" feel to them. And even though you're saving so much money, for some reason, most people are pretty much automatically pissed off when they walk in there. The cashiers are the epitome of "Anti-Happy," and the parking lot is always terribly overpacked.

Atmosphere: 3½

Overall, the fact that Wal-Mart has pretty much owned America earns it a high score, regardless of how many people it has screwed to do so:

Overall: 8.9

Hope you enjoyed the review, folks!

...wtf.

steal my thunder, will you?

*pah-zow*

LOL...love it. Right now, there are 2 MORE SUPERCENTERS waiting to be built in my city. If you think "why does that matter?" here are some numbers:

Population: 692,911
Number of Walmarts in existence: 2 Supercenters, 3 "regular" Walmarts

Now, that's a LOT of Walmarts. 5 in such a small urban area. Note: There are NONE downtown, where our largest population is. City Council keeps spending money to "revitalize downtown", since businesses are crashing and burning down there, and nothing works (like their brilliant idea to turn the one way streets that have access to Mountain Accesses--ahem, escarpment--into two way streets which have just added to traffic congestion).

Building 2 more GIANT BIG BOX STORES is NOT going to solve the issues of poverty, job loss, and downtown deterioration.

And as much as I hate Walmart, it's still the cheapest place to shop.

It's a vicious cycle. Make people poor so people HAVE to shop at Walmart. It's a conspiracy.

I hate Walmart! We really only go there for pet food and sometimes a few other things, but usually if we can get something somewhere else, we do.

My grandma refuses to step foot in Walmart ever since she found out they support gay people. That's just stupid.

Lindsay wrote:

My grandma refuses to step foot in Walmart ever since she found out they support gay people. That's just stupid.

lol. That's such an old person thing to do