i laugh at bad jokes

I like stupid jokes. They make me laugh uncontrolably.

Man walks into a pet shop.
He says to the man behind the desk: "I'd like a wasp please."
Guy says "Sorry, we don't sell those here."
And the man says "...but you've got one in the window!"

What's the difference between a weasel & a stoat?

Spoiler:

everyone know about the petrol situation in the UK?

Whats the difference between petrol and fuel?

Spoiler:

SHARE MORE REALLY BAD STUPID JOKES TO MAKE ME LAUGH!

bahahahahahahahaa oh god >.<

i wasnt sure if youd get the petrol one...

but the first one, if i look sad or whatever, dad goes "man walks into a shop..." and nothing else & i crack up laughing.

one of my friends thru gordon is really good at "bad" jokes like this.

ok this one is kiiiind of scottishy maybe, lets see.

Field full of cows, how do you know which one is on holiday?

Spoiler:

i think i get that one...

I... totally don't get it. Crazy Scots.

I like lame jokes, but I don't know if my sense of humour stretches that far. I'm a pun fiend, love 'em.

Spoiler:

is the translation

... ZOMG.

Haha, cool, thanks Lil.

hehehehe anytime

Gosh I love puns Kendra.

And lol at the crazy scottish people

Ahaha I love these...

So a guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "What can I get you?" the guy says to him, "Two beers, please. One for me and one for the road!"

Haha Kayla that ones.. bad but good

haha i like the one.

and yeh it is a bit scottish.

i love puns too im just a sucker for really stupid jokes like these.

You probably all know this one (and told way better) but I love it!


Green tarmac and black tarmac are sitting at a bar. They're getting a bit rowdy, showing off, trying to pick a fight with everyone who walks in. The barman is getting really sick of it, and he's about to chuck them out.

All of a sudden, in walks this thin, lanky red tarmac and the two others freeze, go quiet and stare down at their drinks. Red tarmac orders and goes to sit in the corner with his drink.

When the other two finally relax the barman goes "so what was all that about? Thought you guys were supposed to be tough! He's just a kid!" and black tarmac replied, "Listen, you don't want to even look at that guy wrong.

Spoiler:

Ellie that one is amazin! LOL

OK OK BEST BAD JOKES EVER

1 A man walks into a bar. OUCH! lmao!!!

2 What's a fish with no eyes?

Spoiler:

3 Yo momma's so fat she's got more chins than a chinese phone directory!!!

ahahahahaahaha i love the tarmac one

^ Me, too. I've never heard that one before, Ellie.

I definitely don't get it

What the hell's a tarmac? Is it one of those non-American terms that I'm isolated from?

XD !!!

sorry kayla. but you made me lol.
I wish I could seriously hear someone say "what the hell's a tarmac?" cos I'd just die of laughter.

I'm not sure what a tarmac is either

tarmac is what highways and stuff are make from
like asphalt or something.

Ohhhhh. Hahaha I've never seen red "tarmac" in my life, except on like playgrounds or some shit.

I feel much more cultured. Thank you for the enlightenment

THAT CYCLE PATH ONE ROCKS HAHAH!
I love bad jokes.

And Keekers I don't get the petrol one!

hmm I still don't quite get it.

you know...its the stuff that the ground is made of. ground...path. and you can ride bikes...on a path. cycle...path!