Pepper Spray for Dinner

Guest

OMG! I read this online and it had me in tears laughing.

Quote :: BOrangeFury

Hot chilli peppers are not meant to be sauteed.

I was making myself a delicious dinner of sauteed veggies. Very easy, just grease pan with butter, throw in veggies in order of cooking time (onions and peppers first, then the zuchinni, then the mushrooms and pinch of sunflower seeds), adding white wine as you go for flavor.

My friends are culinary 'masters' of their own kind, and like to season steak by dumping the entire contents of my spice cabinet on said meat. They, on a whim, bought some chilli peppers. I saw the peppers, and decided, 'Hey, I'll spice up my dinner a bit!'. I slice up one of the small ones, and throw it in with the onions.

Five minutes later, I'm wondering why my eyes are watering.

Seven minutes later, the air is.. burning. Huh. My eyes are watering. I touch my eyes.

Eight minutes later, I'm outside with the hose blasting my face, wondering if I'll go blind. See, the pepper oil was still on my hands when I touched my eyes.

After trying to rinse some of the burning evil off my face, I realize the oven is still on. I run in the house, coughing at the noxious, invisible cloud of peppery death I have inadvertently created, turn off the stove, open all the windows, and throw the mess in the garbage. My nose and ears are really burning at this point, and before I even realize it, i'm digging at both with still pepper oil covered fingers.

So. I'm half blind, most of the holes in my head have been tainted with chilli pepper gas, and the house is now full of low strength mace. I run back outside to my friend the hose.

I sat with the hose on my face for a good ten minutes, and went back inside with a spare respirator to check the damage. It was another ten before I could breathe without the respirator, and this was with every AC on in the house, every window open, and copious amounts of fanning and cursing.

And that's how I made pepper spray for dinner.