Drama monologue-TA-DA!

I'm gonna keep updating here but i wanted some feedback
I'm wiritng a monologue based on Ellie, from tomorrow when the war began. I'm gonna be singing and stuff so yeah.


Singing-
Everytime I close my eyes
Their’s open in my mind

Speaking- It’s hard to tell where a story begins.
I guess it began with tailors stitch for us. My mate Corrie and I used to take camping trips together, so planning another one wasn’t any particular leap of faith. We borrowed the Landie from dad and, after a bit of debating, brought along homer, Kevin, lee, fi and robyn. We found chris and brought him along a bit later. Overall, there was eight of us.

We ended up with five.

Singing:
I lie awake and try
To work out what’s real

Seeing Corrie laid out flat, a bullet in her back, and the urgency in Kevin's eyes as he tried to stop the bleeding. The scrape of the pin Robyn pulled out of that fatal grenade even as Major Harvey reached out as if to take it.

And then the empty airspace where they'd been standing just seconds, moments before.


Perhaps worst of all was Stratton prison.


Singing-
On my knees dim lighted room, thoughts free flow try to consume myself, in this

Speaking-
We’d get seperated during exercise times, and yell across the basketball court- sometimes they even let us play football together… although we had to use our own shoes instead of a footy. Later, though, Homer and I lost our enthusiasm.

I guess having ten days til you meet the firing squad can get you down.

Singing-
I’m not faithless, just paranoid of getting lost or that I might lose, ignorance is bliss cherish it, pretty neighbourhoods you learn too much to hold, believe it not, and fight the tears, with pretty smiles and lies about the times.

Speaking- But at least –we- got away. That night was the night we lost Robyn.
We thought we were innocent before the war. And I guess, right up until that first night in Wirrawee, we had been. It was out of necessity! I didn’t –want- to kill them, i-

Singing-(fast)
On my knees dim lighted room, thoughts free flow, try to consume myself, in this

THEY HAD TO DIE, ok? We had no choice, its not fair… its just not fair (sob… moan.)
At least I still have a place to go. After seeing what it did to Corrie, having her house blown up right in front of her, it makes me wonder about Fi. I mean, you think I have problems? Fiona blew up her OWN house… Her own house and she didn’t bat an eyelid… But her face… after freeing Kevin…I can’t forget that-moment. The crunch…the swelling of the soldiers tongue when i- Lee’s belt…

EVERY TIME, every time I close my eyes.. That soldiers open in my mind… And in my dreams, if you can call them that… I feel their skulls crush beneath my feet like solid, bloody eggshells.

Being on the news afterwards, the interviews, the millions of dollars- it’s not worth it… Not even slightly. There are people who want to be like me because they think im strong..

I’m not, I- It- It burns me to even speak to you, don’t you understand?

Singing:
A year, goes by, and I can’t talk about it.
The times weren’t right, and I couldn’t talk about it

Oooh...It's good. It sucks you in.

i just need like... about 7 times that amount woo

updated

moar update

I like it a lot, Lil.

Are the words from a song, or did you write them yourself? The whole thing is very haunting.

some of them are from me:

Everytime I close my eyes
Their’s open in my mind
i lie awake and try
to work out what's real

and the rest are from flyleaf- so i thought

done!

You should record it so we can get the full effect. I like it!

Very good. And YES RECORD!!

if i perform it for the talent extravaganza (it won't be perfect but who cares), i shall endeavor to ahve it recorded

i'm finished!!!

here it is :

Sitting on a couch, reading a magazine, reach a page and pause. Close eyes and sing, then drop the magazine and uncross legs, swinging them over the edge of the couch.

Normal bright lights here, then add some blue when I start singing.

Singing-
Everytime I close my eyes
Their’s open in my mind

Speaking-
Stand up, pull keys out of pocket and play with them. Throw them up on the line about the landrover(and catch them). This part should be happy and like, reminiscing, until the last bit before the singing.

Normal lighting, pretty bright, dim it on the singing- maybe so it’s only where I’m standing?

It’s hard to tell where a story begins. It’s hard to tell where it ends, too.
I guess it began with tailors stitch for us. My mate Corrie and I used to take camping trips together, so planning another one wasn’t any particular leap of faith. We borrowed the Landie from dad and, after a bit of debating, brought along Homer, Kevin, Lee, Fi and Robyn. We found Chris and brought him along a bit later. Overall, there was eight of us.

We came home with five.
Put the keys back in pocket or throw them onto the couch. Angry/sad. Wander back to the couch and lie down.

Singing:
I lie awake and try
To work out what’s real

Do a bridge as I start talking, come back down and rol off the couch at the ‘memories’ bit, crawl forward (grudge esque) and then do the normal flattened/frantic movement for the corrie/Kevin part.

Red lighting from when I roll off the couch til I get on my knees, then blue.

It’s getting kind of hard to tell what is and what isn’t a part of reality these days. It’s driving me insane- The memories- the soul jerking recollections in the middle of the night…
Seeing Corrie laid out flat, a bullet in her back, and the urgency in Kevin's eyes as he tried to stop the bleeding.
Sit up, onto knees…
Perhaps worst of all was Stratton prison.

Look up around, like scared, sway back and forth and hug self.
Blue lighting.
Singing-
On my knees dim lighted room, thoughts free flow try to consume myself, in this, I’m not faithless.

Stand up, pace angrily for a moment, mime punting a football at the shoe thing and then pause before the homer bit.

Plain white light here from left side.

Speaking-
We’d get separated during exercise times, and yell across the basketball court- sometimes they even let us play football together… although we had to use our own shoes instead of a footy. Later, though, Homer and I lost our enthusiasm.

I guess having ten days til you meet the firing squad can get you down.

Military salute for the firing squad bit. Drop red stars in outstretched hand at hold, blue stars with hands up to face at fight the tears. Very sad looking. Cheesy smile on “Pretty smiles and lies about the times.”

Fade the lights to red slowly til I finish singing, full red for the speaking until “anyone’s eyes,” then add some white light in, slowly until it is full white light FOR THE ENTIRE REST OF THE TIME I SPEAK.

Singing-
I’m just paranoid of getting lost or that I might lose, ignorance is bliss cherish it, pretty neighbourhoods you learn too much to hold, believe it not, and fight the tears, with pretty smiles and lies about the times.

Pause. Shudder, cry. This part is really sad, kind of horrified, sickening.

Speaking-
But at least –we- got away. That night was the night we lost Robyn to that demon … The scrape of the pin Robyn pulled out of that fatal grenade even as Major Harvey reached out as if to take it- That memory never fades. PAUSE.
You know? These kinds of things aren’t meant for a 16 year olds eyes. They aren’t meant for anyone’s eyes.Wipe tears away and pause again.

Angry/sad here, still crying but a little less.
We thought we were innocent before the war. And I guess, right up until that first night in Wirrawee, we had been. It was out of necessity! I didn’t –want- to kill them, I-
THEY HAD TO DIE, ok? We had no choice, its not fair… its just not fair (sob… moan.)
At least I still have a place to go. After seeing what it did to Corrie, having her house blown up right in front of her, it makes me wonder about Fi. I mean, you think I have problems? Fiona blew up her OWN house… Her own house and she didn’t bat an eyelid… But her face… after freeing Kevin…I-can’t forget that-moment. The crunch…the swelling of the soldiers tongue when i- When we- the choke and gasp for breath as lee pulled the belt tight around his neck, the soldiers fingers twitching while I held his hands so he couldn’t get away…

Long pause. Closed eyes, then open them on “that soldiers” Step forward on toes and stomp on heel on “friends” “enemies “ and “”crush.”

EVERY TIME, every time I close my eyes.. That soldiers open in my mind… And in my dreams, if you can call them that… I feel the skulls of friends and enemies alike crush beneath my feet.

Spin towards the audience, really pissed off/grumpy.

These are the things that stay with us. And they stay with us forEVER!

Being on the news afterwards, the interviews, the millions of dollars- it’s not worth it… Not even slightly. There are people who want to be like me because they think I’m strong.

Deflate here, sad again, and kneel slowly. Hug self whilst singing the first line, looking down with eyes but not head, and then on the end of the second line, lean right forward like on all fours but with left arm outstretched, stop.

I’m not, I- It- It burns me to even speak to you, don’t you understand?

Singing:
A year, goes by, and I can’t talk about it.
The times were right, but I couldn’t talk about it

Dim lights.

Whoa. Intense. I hope we get to see it. You muuuust record it!

I hope someone has a video camera on MADD night

thanks kendrarr